REFLECTIONS:
Millie was always well groomed and dean. She had long hair when we were married. She did it up onto her head. I liked it long. When she told me she wanted to cut it I said, "If you cut your hair you just as well go on down the road." She didn't take me seriously and did have it cut. I found I liked it better cut and curled. It was certainly much easier for her to care for.
She had milked cows before our marriage for her father. I never expected her do this nor did I ask her to milk ours. After our marriage she did on occasion if 1 was late getting in but this was rare. Occasionally she'd help me in the fields but her responsibilities in the home were enough for her to do. Harvest time was a heavy work load for her with the preparing of three meals a day for four extra working men in addition to our family. She always kept a good house even though we did not have a lot nor did we have the modern conveniences of today. It was clean. She never went to bed at night with the house littered or dirty, even when the children were small. The dishes were always done before she retired also. She took great ride in her surrounding. She added touches of beauty with bouquets of flowers when she could. She made good bread and was a general all round good cook. She made everything from scratch. TV dinners were unknown to her. She valued her family, her church, and her country. Her life was spent in service in all three areas. I am a better man because of her and my constant hope and prayer is that I can go where she is and that we can be together for eternity with our family.
She loved to read and took every opportunity to improve her mind. We went to many BYU Extension lectures together.
Millie and I have tried to be good church members. We have not always succeeded like we would have liked but we have tried.
I have never worked regularly on Sunday. Occasionally while on the dry farm I used to fix a piece of machinery or do something I felt couldn't wait in the field. One time I'd gone out on Sunday to do something I thought couldn't wait. I broke down so much that day I swore I would never work ton Sunday anymore. I've kept that promise and been blessed with the necessities of life and then some. We had enough to live on and to pay our debts and to enjoy some of the finer things of life.
The Word of Wisdom has never been a problem with me. As a youth my older brother got me to smoke a cigar. I got so sick I decided "that's not for me." I never touched tobacco again. Tea, coffee and alcohol have not been a temptation, either.
When working with horses I used some words that are termed swear words. I've tried to overcome that bad habit.
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{PICTURE: 85 Lloyd and some of his Rugs}
Since Millie's death in 1978 it has been awfully lonely. I've read more than I ever read in my life before. I'm not sure how much has stuck with me, though. Through Karen I got started doing hooked rugs. In the last four years I've done 23 rugs and 4 pillows mostly for my children. Some of the rugs are large ones, too. It has proved to be a life-saver for me. This and the two days a week I spend in the temple have helped me to keep going. I just can not go to town and bum around.
The constancy of the care and watchfulness of Wanda who lives close by in checking on me twice a day come rain or come shine and of the consideration of Karen and Karma means a lot to me. I don't think I could live if it were not for my family.
Klea Blake called recently from St. George, Utah (1982) and asked why I didn't move down there. The winters are so nice, she said. I told her no way could I do that, I'd be so far away from my family, children, grandchildren, and great grand children. They mean the world to me. There is nothing worthwhile without them.
Millie and I have eight children, 48 grandchildren and as of July 1982 there are .52 great grandchiidren. From our family 21 have filled missions counting Millie and myself. All the grandsons to date have gone when they arrived at the age of 19 years and several of my granddaughters also have gone. This makes me very happy and proud of them. All who have married to this date have married in the temple and are active members with their spouses in the church.
{PICTURE: 85 Chrissie Schroeder - Died at 90}
One of the really true friends I have ever had is Chris Schroeder. I first met him when we moved to Shelley and he was down to Clingers, our neighbors to the west. He lived in Idaho Falls and worked for the railroad. He would start coming down to our house every week. He liked to help me with the horses and he would drive them out to the field. He seemed to enjoy it. He then bought 20
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acres of ground near by and had me run it for him. When he first started coming out to see me he smoked. Then I noticed he didn't smoke anymore. I asked if he had quit it. He said it was a dirty habit and he noticed that I didn't smoke so why should he. He always treated me so good. He always bought Millie things, especially flowers. He liked the kids and still remarked about them before his death January 25, 1982. He should be a member of the church. He was a great handy man for the widow ladies in his neighborhood in Idaho Falls, He could fix anything and gave his time freely to help those in need. To my way of thinking he was a real Christian gentleman.
In reminiscing one of the greatest lessons I learned in life was how to work and take responsibility. Dad always gave us lots of that. Once he !eft my sister, Leah, and I home and he took the rest of the family and mother on a little trip. The peas were ready to cut. I had to fix up the cutter and roll the peas back. I couldn't get the roller to work so I got Leah out to drive the team and I walked along behind and pulled out the peas. We had to stack them by hand and make roads through them. When Dad got home he praised me and that helped a lot. I learned how to work and take care of horses and to take responsibilities.
If I would leave one word on how to live successfully it would be to LIVE THE GOSPEL and GET AN EDUCATION. I do have a testimony of the gospel. I know it is true. There was a boy in the mission field that got gased one time. I went to their home and administered to him. There were no other elders around me to help. His mother thought he was dead. She had not been able to get any response from him. I had no more than taken my hands off his head and he opened his eyes and looked at me. We took him to the doctor and he was examined and was found to be alright. Nothing was wrong.
{PICTURE: 86 Lloyd J Bean}
I know the Lord will do his part if we do our part. We never know what trials we will have to go through, like Mother did. There is a test for all of us.
I hope my kids and grandkids will remember me for what I am and not for what I am not.
In November 1978 1 had a heart attack. Though very serious at the time I've recovered quite well. I do my own yard and raise a garden. I care for a few chickens. I keep my own house. Good health is indeed a blessing.
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In February 1981 1 was operated on for prostate gland problems. This I recovered from and have had fair health to date.
This July 1982 has brought some heart pains. I was hospitalized on the 14th for severe chest pain and weakness. Spring gives me farm fever - I yearn to be out working the soil, planting, cultivating and harvesting. You can take the man off the farm but you can't take the farm out of the man it seems.
{PICTURE: 87 Lloyd in front of a car 1982}